I Was Down, But Never Out!
and
You Might Be a Biker, IF...

January 4^th, 2006

muse@bikerenews.com

The other day I was walking through my garage and saw the strangest thing. There was a purple two-wheeled machine parked in the garage. I had to ask myself what this crazy thing was doing in my garage.

Over the last couple of months, I have been spending a little too much time at work and out of town. My life had turned into a series of meetings, phone calls, and emails. I knew I had a life before work took over my consciousness life, but I had trouble remembering what it was.

Looking at that purple machine, a memory slowly started to come back to me. If I squinted my eyes enough, I could see someone (that looked like me) sitting on the purple machine. If I concentrated hard, I could almost hear a V-Twin come to life. Then it hit me, I was looking at a motorcycle. Not just any motorcycle, but my motorcycle.

I cautiously walked up to the bike (half afraid it would disappear). I swung my leg over the seat and grabbed onto the handlebars. I knew the only reason I couldn't feel the wind on my face was because of the windshield. My mind leaped to the open road and my heart pounded to the rhythm of exploding pistons.

I remembered immediately that I owned a motorcycle and I liked riding. I apologized to the bike for ignoring it and promised to correct my deviant behavior. I opened the garage door, put on my leathers, backed the bike out of the garage and headed out the driveway.

Where should I go? I remembered that when I first got the bike, I wanted to stay close to home, but experience a variety of riding conditions. I had three basic circuits.

1. I-64 West from Northhampton to I-664 to I-64 West back to Northhampton (the Inner Loop)

2. I-64 to I-264 to Virginia Beach back to I-264 to Independence

3. Independence to Shore Drive to Diamond Springs to Princess Anne to General Booth to Atlantic Ave to Shore Drive to Independence.

I rode all three. It wasn't fancy or sexy, but I had a great time. I was changing lanes, breathing like a super-charger, and singing loud (and off key) inside my helmet. I was BACK!

During my work imposed absence, I did think about riding and bikes. As a take off on the famous "You Might Be..." Series, I came up with some of the following tests. I did this without looking at any of the many websites dedicated to this genre. If there are duplicate comments with others, all I can say is, "They must have stolen the line from me." If you recognize any of the below traits, you are probably a Biker (BE PROUD).

You Might Be a Biker If:

1. The thought of bugs hitting your teeth makes you smile

2. You think of weather reports as just someone else's opinion

3. You hit your hand on your closed car window trying to wave at a motorcycle rider

4. You hit your head on your closed car window trying to lean into a curve

5. Packing for a weekend trip consist of a toothbrush and a change of underwear (optional)

6. Your vibrating Lazy-Boy recliner is the same color as your Goldwing

7. Exhaust pipes are the only musical instrument you play

8. All of your rhythm is in your left foot and left hand

9. Your idea of a gourmet dinner is a cup of coffee and a greasy hamburger at a local diner

10. Your saddlebags, boots, and chaps are not part of a cowboy fantasy

11. Denim and leather make up more than 50% of your wardrobe

12. Your idea of being intimate is having your spouse sit behind you with their arms around you

13. You receive chrome as an anniversary present

14. You think that the only four-wheeled vehicles that should be allowed on the road are two motorcycles

15. Your family car sits in the driveway and your bike stays in the garage

16. Your skull rag is dirtier than your bike

17. Your sunburn only covers your nose, cheeks, and neck

18. You can't tell the difference between shivering in the cold and vibrations from your bike

19. You carry a smashed beer can in your coat pocket for your kickstand

20. The Biker eNews is listed at the top of your "favorites" list

Ride Safe, Ride Warm, JUST RIDE.

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