23 July 2014


Once upon a time there was a very handsome male camel named Alfred with two huge camel humps.



He fell in love and married a beautiful female camel named Marie, who had one perfect camel hump.



As time progressed they became the proud parents of a wonderful baby boy camel, born with no humps.



They contemplated long and hard on what to call their beautiful little boy. They finally decided on ... are you ready for this???
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Humpfree



















My Road Rage Is Gone.!
I no longer have problems with road rage.
You may not have known I had issues with road rage.
However, since I picked up my new bike, people no longer seem to annoy me any more.
Maybe I have mellowed.
Just wanted to let you know I'm over all of that now.
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Doo Wop Test
Play fair...Don't cheat, now!

1. When did ''Little Suzie'' finally wake up?
(a) The movie's over, it's 2 o'clock
(b) The movie's over, it's 3 o'clock
(c) The movie's over, it's 4 o'clock

2. ''Rock Around The Clock'' was used in what movie?
(a) Rebel Without A Cause
(b) Blackboard Jungle
(c) The Wild Ones

3. What's missing from a Rock & Roll standpoint? Earth _____
(a) Angel
(b) Mother
(c) Worm

4. ''I found my thrill . . .'' where?
(a) Kansas City
(b) Heartbreak Hotel
(c) Blueberry Hill

5. ''Please turn on your magic beam, _____ _____ bring me a dream,'':
(a) Mr. Sandman
(b) Earth Angel
(c) Dream Lover

6. For which label did Elvis Presley first record?
(a) Atlantic
(b) RCA
(c) Sun

7. He asked, ''Why's everybody always pickin' on me?'' Who was he?
(a) Bad, Bad Leroy Brown
(b) Charlie Brown
(c) Buster Brown

8. In Bobby Darin's ''Mack The Knife,'' the one with the knife, was named:
(a) MacHeath
(b) MacCloud
(c) MacNamara

9. Name the song with ''A-wop bop a-loo bop a-lop bam boom.'' (a) Good Golly, Miss Molly
(b) Be-Bop-A-Lula
(c) Tutti Fruitti

10. Who is generally given credit for originating the term ''Rock And Roll''?
(a) Dic k Clark
(b) Wolfman Jack
(c) Alan Freed

11. In 1957, he left the music business to become a preacher:
(a) Little Richard
(b) Frankie Lymon
(c) Tony Orlando

12. Paul Anka's ''Puppy Love'' is written to what star?
(a) Brenda Lee
(b) Connie Francis
(c) Annette Funicello

13. The Everly Brothers were . . ...
(a) Pete and Dick
(b) Don and Phil
(c) Bob and Bill

14. The Big Bopper's real name was:
(a) Jiles P. Richardson
(b) Roy Harold Scherer Jr.
(c) Marion Michael Morrison

15. In 1959, Berry Gordy Jr, started a small record company called... (a) Decca
(b) Cameo
(c) Motown

16. Edd Brynes had a hit with ''Kookie, Kookie, Lend Me Your Comb''. What TV show was he on?
(a) 77 Sunset Strip
(b) Hawaiian Eye
(c) Surfside Six

17. In 1960 Bobby Darin married:
(a) Carol Lynley
(b) Sandra Dee
(c) Natalie Wood

18.. They were a one hit wonder with ''Book Of Love'': (a) The Penguins
(b) The Monotones
(c) The Moonglows

19.. The Everly Brothers sang a song called ''Till I ______ You.''
(a) Loved
(b) Kissed
(c) Met

20. Chuck Berry sang ''Oh, ___________, why can't you be true?''
(a) Suzie Q
(b) Peggy Sue
(c) Maybelline

21. ''Wooly _______''
(a) Mammouth
(b) Bully
(c) Pully

22. ''I'm like a one-eyed cat . . . .."
(a) can't go into town no more
(b) sleepin' on a cold hard floor
(c) peepin' in a seafood store

23. ''Sometimes I wonder what I'm gonna do . . . . ...''
(a) cause there ain't no answer for a life without booze
(b) cause there ain't no cure for the summertime blues
(c) cause my car's gassed up and I'm ready to cruise

24. ''They often call me Speedo, but my real name is .. . . . . ..''
(a) Mr. Earl
(b) Jackie Pearl
(c) Milton Berle

25. ''You're my Fanny and nobody else's ......''
(a) girl
(b) butt
(c) love

26. ''I want you to play with my . . . ''
(a) heart
(b) dreams
(c) ding a ling

27. ''Be Bop A Lula ....''
(a) she's got the rabies
(b) she's my baby.
(c) she loves me, maybe

28. ''Fine Love, Fine Kissing ...''
(a) right here
(b) fifty cents
(c) just for you

29. ''He wore black denim trousers and . . .''
(a) a pink carnation
(b) pink leotards
(c) motorcycle boots

30. ''I got a gal named . ... ..''
(a) Jenny Zamboni
(b) Gerri Mahoney
(c) Boney Maroney

Answers:




1. When did ''Little Suzie'' finally wake up?
(c) The movie's over, it's 4 o'clock



2. ''Rock Around The Clock'' was used in what movie?
(b) Blackboard Jungle



3. What's missing from a Rock & Roll standpoint? Earth _____
(a) Angel



4. ''I found my thrill . . .'' where?
(c) Blueberry Hill



5. ''Please turn on your magic beam, _____ _____ bring me a dream,'':
(a) Mr. Sandman


6. For which label did Elvis Presley first record?
(c) Sun



7. He asked, ''Why's everybody always pickin' on me?'' Who was he? (b) Charlie Brown





8. In Bobby Darin's ''Mack The Knife,'' the one with the knife, was named:
(a) MacHeath


9. Name the song with ''A-wop bop a-loo bop a-lop bam boom.''
(c) Tutti Fruitti



10. Who is generally given credit for originating the term ''Rock And Roll''?
(c) Alan Freed




11. In 1957, he left the music business to become a preacher:
(a) Little Richard


12. Paul Anka's ''Puppy Love'' is written to what star?
(c) Annette Funicello



13. The Everly Brothers were . . ...
(a) Pete and Dick
(b) Don and Phil
(c) Bob and Bill

14. The Big Bopper's real name was:
(a) Jiles P. Richardson


15. In 1959, Berry Gordy, Jr.., started a small record company called... (c) Motown




16. Edd Brynes had a hit with ''Kookie, Kookie, Lend Me Your Comb''. What TV show was he on?
(a) 77 Sunset Strip


17. In 1960 Bobby Darin married:
(b) Sandra Dee
(c) Natalie Wood


18.. They were a one hit wonder with ''Book Of Love'':
(b) The Monotones




19.. The Everly Brothers sang a song called ''Till I ______ You.'' (b) Kissed





20. Chuck Berry sang ''Oh, ___________, why can't you be true?''
(c) Maybelline

21. ''Wooly _______''
(b) Bully




22. ''I'm like a one-eyed cat . .. .."
(c) peepin' in a seafood store



23. ''Sometimes I wonder what I'm gonna do . . . . ...''
(b) cause there ain't no cure for the summertime blues



24.. ''They often call me Speedo, but my real name is ... . . . . ..''
(a) Mr. Earl



25. ''You're my Fanny and nobody else's ......''
(a) girl
(b) butt

26. ''I want you to play with my . . . ''
(c) ding a ling



27. ''Be Bop A Lula ....''
(b) she's my baby.



28. ''Fine Love, Fine Kissing ...''
(a) right here




29. ''He wore black denim trousers and . . .''
(c) motorcycle boots



30. ''I got a gal named . ... ..''
(c) Boney Maroney























WHOREHOUSE SUES LOCAL CHURCH OVER LIGHTNING STRIKE!

What an interesting turn of events in Mt. Vernon , Texas ...Diamond D's brothel began construction on an expansion of their building to increase their ever-growing business. In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the business from expanding -- with morning, afternoon, and evening prayer sessions at their church.

Work on Diamond D's progressed right up until the week before the grand re-opening when lightning struck the whorehouse and burned it to the ground! After the cat-house was burned to the ground by the lightning strike, the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about "the power of prayer."

But late last week 'Big Jugs' Jill Diamond, the owner/madam, sued the church, the preacher and the entire congregation on the grounds that the church ... "was ultimately responsible for the demise of her building and her business -- either through direct or indirect divine actions or means."

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently and voraciously denied any and all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.

The crusty old judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply, and at the opening hearing he commented, "I don't know how the hell I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, that we now have a whorehouse owner who staunchly believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that thinks it's all bullshit."


People born before 1946 are called - The Greatest Generation.

People born between 1946 and 1964 are called - The Baby Boomers.

People born between 1965 and 1979 are called - Generation X.

Why do we call the last group -Generation Y ?

Y should I get a job?

Y should I leave home and find my own place?

Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?

Y should I clean my room?

Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?

Y should I buy any food?

But perhaps a cartoonist explained it most eloquently below...

















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