This is the "Sexual Tension Quiz" given to advanced placement psychology students at William T. Dwyer High School, copied from a quiz widely distributed on the internet. The teacher who distributed the "quiz" has been disciplined.

1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. What Am I?

2. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts. What Am I?

3. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What Am I?

4. Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn't maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open. What Am I?

5. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What Am I?

6. When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What Am I?

7. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What Am I?

8. All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What Am I?

9. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard. What Am I?

10. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What Am I?

11. I offer Protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What Am I?

12. I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What Am I?

13. My business is briefs. I am a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it. What Am I?

14. I make some guys shoot in the air. I usually have a little pecker. I'm better in your hand than in your bush. What Am I?

Answers:

1. Nose 2. Peanut Butter 3. Crane 4. Titanic 5. Tent 6. Dentist 7. Wedding Ring 8. Elevator 9. Chewing Gum 10. Newspaper Boy 11. Glove 12. Arrow 13. An attorney 14. Bird

YACHT DELIVERY

85' custom-built motor yacht complete with 4 state rooms, a state-of-the-art galley, GPS System and radar for navigation, twin supercharged diesel engines, etc. $7,474,793.00

Champagne, chocolate covered strawberries with cream and music dockside for the excited 'soon to be owner' and a small group of his friends $1500.00



Two corporate representatives, crane, and rigging $2,500.00 a hour minimum... complete with a faulty $25.00 dollar turnbuckle.



(Note the owner in the stern / back of the yacht) Watching your 7 million dollar dreamboat nose dive into the harbor, accompanied by two corporate Representatives from the company that built it just prior to 'inking' the final paperwork and handing over a 7 million dollar bankers check...



PRICELESS! So, How was your day going ..... ??

South Dakota Ranch Kid in Marine Corp Boot Camp

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are.

Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Lee by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But, I am getting so I like to sleep late.

Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No Horses to break, Hay to pitch, Bulls to ride, wood to split, Bales to load .. Practically nothing!!

Men got to shave; but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on Buffalo steak, potatoes, ham, gravy, pie and other regular food.

But tell Walt and Elmer, you can always sit by the two city boys that live on soda. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon, when you get fed again.

It's no wonder these city boys can't run 5 miles. We go on 'route marches', which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us.

If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back to camp in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Does nothing. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a Prairie dogs head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like them Taggert boys back home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit the bulls-eye. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then, we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like riding those bulls back home. I'm about the best they got in this except for Clarence Jackson from over in Deadwood.

I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'-10" and 180 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before other boys get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
Grace

Health Care finally some GOOD NEWS



If you can't afford a doctor, go to an airport
- you'll get a free x-ray and breast exam, and,
if you mention Al Qaeda, you'll get a free colonoscopy.

How to make a Deer Stand and retirement home.
One helluva great idea and doable at minimal cost.

Start with a small to medium size camping trailer.


Drag im out to a likely hunting area.


Jam some poles in the ground.


Use a couple of tractors with loaders.


Raise it WAY UP (and chain er down!).


Drink a beer or two and step back to admire your work.


Build a deck (so you'll have a place to sit and drink another beer).


Build some nice stairs so you don't have to fall down a ladder while drinking your beer.


Practice shooting deer with a piece of lumber while popping another top.


Enjoy a steak & taters dinner with your beer!






And, always pack for inclement weather or in case you accidently get snowed in.

Rules is Rules!

The Good news:
It was a normal day in Sharon Springs , Kansas , when a Union Pacific crew boarded a loaded coal train for the long trek to Salina .

The Bad news:
Just a few miles into the trip a wheel bearing became overheated and melted, letting a metal support drop down and grind on the rail, creating white hot molten metal droppings spewing down to the rail.

The Good news:
A very alert crew noticed smoke about halfway back in the train and immediately stopped the train in compliance with the rules.

The Bad news:
The train stopped with the hot wheel over a wooden bridge with creosote ties and trusses. The crew tried to explain to higher-ups but were instructed not to move the train.

OH & S. They were instructed Rules prohibit moving the train when a part is defective.

REMEMBER, RULES IS RULES!

Don't ever let common sense get in the way of a Good disaster!

Senior bumper stickers

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