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28 November 2007
Four point five miles per hour...

Since my CBR broke Flo has been dropping me off and picking me up after work. This arrangement works out pretty well; most times. Every now and then things just don't go as planned.

Wednesday afternoon I was late coming out of the shipyard gate and she figured I was going to work over. But, it was the evening before Thanksgiving and no one was working overtime. I got caught up in a search for one of our crewmembers who missed the last safety check before going home. I was about an hour late coming out the gate and of course Flo was gone.

It was a nice afternoon and I went in search of a pay phone to call her and get a ride home. Now this was a mistake of great proportions as I was about to find out. It seems now a days with everyone having a cell phone Ma Bell has decided we don't need pay phones anymore.

I could either walk further downtown or start walking uptown in the direction she would be coming. I headed uptown walking up Huntington Ave. It becomes clear just how big Newport News shipyard is when you walk the full mile or so of its length. I was clipping along at a good pace actually enjoying my pedestrian status; even after a full day of work. Of course I didn't figure then that I would have to walk very far.

As I was walking up Huntington, the worse thing that could happen began; I had to pee. Now this isn't usually a problem but at my age it has become one. When I have to go I have to go there is no putting it off. (It's just great getting older.)

Well there is no place from 50th street to the junction of Warwick and Huntington to stop except for the bushes and landscaping along the road hiding the shipyard. Trouble is its fall and there isn't much foliage left on those bushes and there are lots of homes across the street and lots of traffic.

For at least ¾ of a mile I was suppressing the urge to go and not with too much luck. I crossed the street and took refuge in the bushes and relieved myself. I figured now I was good until I got home, as long as I don't get arrested before that. I could imagine some little old lady getting upset looking out her clean window and seeing this scruffy bald headed guy hiding in the bushes; and then calling the police.

I finally reached the Seven Eleven at the junction of Warwick and Huntington after passing several stores and either didn't have a pay phone or the phones were out of order. I kept on walking, I crossed the street again and now I was walking up Warwick Boulevard heading uptown. It was a pretty nice evening and the Shell gas station wasn't too far up the street.

I dam near got ran over trying to cross the on ramp to Mercury Boulevard, think motorcycles don't get any respect try being a pedestrian especially a old tired one.

At the Shell Station there was a guy who was using the only good phone they had. As I walked up he asked me for a cigarette; I was wondering why he had a cell phone on his hip and he was using the pay phone. I figured it was best if I just kept walking so I answered his request by telling him I didn't smoke and just kept on walking. Perhaps it's safer to call your dealer on a pay phone, I thought about this as I walked on.

I was walking at such a fast pace I was working up a sweat, of course I had on a sweat shirt, my coveralls and a back pack with my empty lunch box and empty thermos. I was rather glad they were both empty too.

Still no pay phones as I entered the little village of Hilton. The next Seven Eleven's pay phones had out of order signs hung on them. Once again I just kept on walking only to discover that there are no pay phones in Hilton either.

As I was walking along still at my fast pace; which maybe the same as your slowest pace but it was the fastest pace I can walk. I passed lots of folks on the street enjoying the evening walking. While I was walking I was passed by lots of motorcycles and I kept thinking that this seems pretty funny to me. I have a perfectly running Jeep, and at least two running motorcycles and I'm out here walking home from a full day in the shipyard.

Leaving Hilton and heading for the Miller Mart I passed a lot of homes. On this side of the street it was pretty dark with lots of trees blocking the street lights. As I passed one driveway I was attacked by a little dog. Well not really attacked; he may have thought it was a full on attack and he successfully defended his home, by making the strange bald headed human leave. I just thought he was lucky he didn't get close or try to bite me. If he had he would have been wearing my size ten steel toed boot which was about a half a foot bigger than him.

I got to the Miller Mart and lo and behold a working pay phone. I popped in a quarter, dialed my number and the operator tells me I have to drop an additional twenty five cents for ten minutes. Wow, what a rip off, 50 cents for ten minutes, no wonder every one else uses a cell phone; it's cheaper…… I'm glad it wasn't a long distance call.

Flo answered the phone and I told her I was walking and where and that she could come by and pick me up. I told her I had to keep walking because I had to pee again and my legs where starting to hurt. As long as I kept walking I would be ok.

By now I had walked about 4 or 5 miles, and I was walking at the same pace I started out at. I kept thinking that my Cardiac Surgeon would be proud of me and his work. My legs were now hurting as bad as they did last year when I had to walk on the tread mill for the stress test. But this time I didn't have nurse or all of the wiring.

As I continued walking, I heard foot steps gaining on me pretty fast. I figured this is all I need to get mugged on my way home all the while trying to hold my water. What a great story this would make for the newspapers "Old Man Kills Mugger and Wets His Pants".

At the last minute I turned to face my attacker; it turned out to be two rather good looking young women who were jogging. At that point they must have been confused by the look on my face. I put on my killer who has to pee bad face and they took a detour around me leaving a good space between us.

I was rather relieved I didn't have to brush off those old street fighting skills and I didn't wet my pants. I figured if I had to defend myself I would immediately release my water and while my aggressor was laughing I would then kill him. After all I couldn't let him tell anyone that I wet my pants in fear which wasn't true.

I kept walking, now I was pretty sure my ride would catch up with me by the time I got up to the Burger King. Now my dilemma, BK had rest rooms readily available, but if I duck in and use them I might miss my ride and have to walk all the way home. So I kept on walking; now I was getting very uncomfortable with the holding water thing.

I was walking past all of the new cars at Bowditch Ford when I knew I had no choice but to find some place to go. Lucky for me the back road which cuts the corner of Warwick and Harpersville was dark with lots of bushes. Yes once more I heeded the call of Mother Nature in a semi public place, when I finished I walked on to the corner. Here I decided to take a little break and wait hoping that Flo would arrive before the cops to arrest me for public urination. Getting arrested and going to jail I could do, but trying to explain to the judge in front of all the people in the court room about how my crime spree or pee came about would be more than I could bear.

We have all seen movies where folks were either lost in the forest, or out on a desert or adrift in a boat at sea, when a plane passes by and they think they're saved. But the plane just flies on by without any sign that they even saw them. I now know how they feel.

I'm standing there in glow of a street light, fully illuminated as I watched Flo make the turn up Harpersville Road off of Warwick and head straight for me and then she did a U-turn and went back the way she came. I waved, jumped up and down, and yelled; she just completed the turn and continued on with the green light and disappeared into the night.

How could she miss me standing here in the light; I had to look like a hooker with a backpack waiting for a car to come by and make a deal for services. The only thing on the corner was the light poll behind me and lots of light, how could she have not seen me….

Ok she would be back anytime I figured. Feeling a little depressed as well as tired, I kept on walking up Harpersville road. I had to, my legs would soon quit on me if I didn't keep moving. This section of Harpersville is not lighted well and doesn't have a sidewalk on either side. It does have a culvert ditch about 12 inches from the road bed on either side. Here I am trying to navigate in the dark along the edge of the road and not fall into the culvert.

Once again I found out pedestrians don't get any respect, as I walked I came close several times to getting hit. Several times I saw the cars veer back to the center of the road after near missing me. I think they were deliberately trying to hit me.

As I came up to the Catholic Church I came across a guy who was looking for the homeless shelter. He told me it used to be over here but it's been moved and he asked me if I knew where it was. I gave him a few cigarettes and we talked for a few minutes. He went on looking for the homeless shelter and I started walking thinking that maybe I should have gone with him, I was feeling rather homeless at this point.

I made it to Morrison the little hamlet on that end of Harpersville and crossed over the tracks. The only things that you find in Morrison are funeral homes, churches and a factory that builds roof trusses. This was a town before the county was incorporated into the city of Newport News.

I continued on to Jefferson Ave and still no sign of Flo. I crossed the street to make use of the sidewalk and the pedestrian crossing at Jefferson Ave. I was surprise that all through my walk I had caught every light just right on the way home, something that never happens when I drive the car or the bike.

After crossing Jefferson I was on the wrong side of the road; if Flo did come by she would never see me. It was dark; this section of Harpersville doesn't have street lights. I was really glad for the sidewalk, walking on the grass just tires your legs even more. Ok, walking on the grass has less impact on the legs, but it eats up energy which at this point I was running low on. At least I had some distance from the oncoming traffic.

I cut the corner at the light where Harpersville road makes the left turn. I cut across the parking lot of the Farmers Market and damn near twisted my ankle. They are rebuilding from the fire they had last year and some of the parking lot is still under construction. And yes it's not lit.

At this point I'm in the home stretch only about 5 blocks to go. Once again no sidewalks, no lighting and more ditches. How is anyone supposed to walk in this city with out sidewalks? This section does have streetlights, but the trees are still holding enough leaves that all you get is a dim glow to see by. Just enough light that after you twist or break an ankle you will be able to see yourself fall.

I cut the last corner and turned down my street in the final 200 yards of my 8 mile walk. I felt a little angry that Flo had missed me, but at the same time I felt pretty good; tired yes, but good just the same.

Flo finally caught up with me; in our driveway I had walked the entire 8 miles in about an hour and forty minutes; a trip that only takes 15 minutes by car or motorcycle. I was making about 4.5 miles per hour not bad for an old guy. I could only think about how nice it is to ride those 8 miles, or any miles. How many times had we rode out to the strangest places got lost and still got home in time for diner without having to resort to walking home. I was a non-smoker, attacked by a dog and then by two lovely joggers, broke the law twice, learned that cell phones could be a useful thing, and that walking is pretty good for the soul.

The walk home made me very thankful for owning a car, two motorcycles and a very comfortable set of work boots.